Smart, Sexy and Secretive Read online

  “Of course you can stay with me.” I tweak her nose. “Silly woman.”

  I want her with me every minute of every day.

  “Your brothers won’t mind?” she asks.

  “They’ll be ecstatic,” I say. I tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “They’ve missed you.”

  “Does your apartment smell like sweat socks and stale pizza?” she asks.

  I grimace. It probably does. I hold my finger and thumb an inch apart. “Maybe a little bit.”

  She cuddles into me, wrapping her arms around my waist. She says something against my chest, but I can’t see her lips. I tip her face up. “What?” I ask.

  “I love you,” she says. Then she says it again and again and again, and my heart swells. I kiss her like there’s no tomorrow, until we’re both breathless. The lights turn off.

  “I think that’s our cue to leave,” I say. I shove the curtain back, and Friday glares at us, her purse over her shoulder.

  “Did you just have sex back there?” Friday asks, deadpan.

  “Oh my God, no,” I say.

  I shove Friday’s shoulder gently, kind of like I would one of my sisters if I had any.

  “That’s so unsanitary,” she warns.

  Emily covers her mouth, trying not to laugh.

  “If you did, go spray something back there, will you? Some antiseptic or something.” She scrunches up her nose.

  “We didn’t,” I say, growling as I reach for Friday. She hates it when I give her noogies. She screams and ducks outside my reach.

  “Well, when you do, don’t get germs all over the place. Put down some paper or something.” She’s serious about this, but it still makes me laugh. Now I won’t be able to get the idea of having sex with Emily out of my head when I’m at work.

  “I’ll be sure he sanitizes,” Emily says. I wrap my arm around her, pulling her into my side. I kiss her, and if we don’t get out of here soon, I’ll have no choice but to take her back behind the curtain and then sanitize.

  We follow Friday out the door, and she turns and locks it. “Good night,” she calls to us. It’s still early on a Saturday evening, so I don’t offer to walk her home. She turns away but then spins toward us again. “I’m glad you’re back, Emily,” she says, cupping her hands around her mouth as she yells. Then she walks away.

  “She’s something, isn’t she?” Emily asks.

  She’s definitely something. We just don’t know what.

  “Do you want to go and get something to eat?” she asks. I realize she has her black canvas bag over her shoulder. I take it from her and put it over my own.

  “You came prepared, huh?” I ask.

  “I had a feeling you wouldn’t send me away.” She grins up at me. I couldn’t send her away even if I wanted to.

  “Let’s go home and order a pizza,” I suggest. I look down at my watch. “Hayley will still be up. I’m sure she wants to see you.”

  “Take me home,” she says. So I do.

  Emily

  We step through the door of the apartment Logan shares with his four brothers, and I jump back when they all yell, “Surprise!”

  I look up at Logan who shakes his head and signs the word sorry. Then he pulls me to him, wrapping his arms tightly around me, but it’s not for more than a moment. His brothers rush at me. Sam and Pete, the youngest brothers in the family, get to me first. The twins attack me from both sides, squishing me between them like I’m the filling of a sandwich. They squeeze me, and they press their lips against each of my cheeks.

  “If you lick me,” I warn. Sam already has his tongue out, but he sucks it back in really quickly and grins at me.

  “Welcome home,” Sam says. He steps back, and Pete’s arms fall around me. He squeezes me tightly, clutching my head against his chest as his hands tumble through my hair.

  “Would you cut it out?” I grouse, trying to flatten my hair back down. Pete laughs and steps to the side.

  “Welcome home,” Paul says before wrapping me up in his arms. He really is a big guy, even bigger than Logan, and I think he could wrap around me twice.

  “Thanks,” I murmur against his chest. I can barely breathe, but it’s worth it.

  Then there’s Matt. He leans against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He doesn’t smile. His eyes are wet, and he blinks really quickly.

  “Come here, big guy,” I say, making a come hither motion with my fingers. He pushes off the counter and starts toward me.

  “I’m going to kiss your girl, Logan,” he warns. Logan’s eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn’t complain. He smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

  Matt stops in front of me and tips my face up to his. He looks directly into my eyes and holds my gaze. “Thank you,” he says.

  I gulp past the lump that’s suddenly in my throat and try to sound flippant. “For what?” I ask with a breezy wave. He won’t let me look away though. He holds my face between his palms and stares into my eyes.

  “For saving my fucking life,” he says. “Thank you.”

  He leans down and kisses me on the cheek with a loud smack.

  “Oh, I didn’t do anything,” I start.

  He looks down at me, and his gaze is so serious that my insides quiver. “Yes, you did,”

  he says. “I’ll never forget it.” He looks over at Logan. “I’m not the only one you saved,” he whispers to me. That lump in my throat grows ten times its size. “You ever need anything at all, you come to me, all right? I’d do anything for you.”

  “Could you kill a guy for me?” I ask. He could at least bust Trip’s kneecaps.

  His eyebrows scrunch together. “There’s probably a story there. I hope you’ll tell it to me later.”

  I nod. “You’re better, right?” I ask. I hold my breath while I wait for the answer.

  He smiles. “I’m not dead.”

  “Well, there’s a start,” Paul says, jumping in. “We should have written that on the cake.” He takes the top off a small cake box and Welcome Home is written across the icing. “For the guest of honor,” he says with a flourish.

  “Can we eat the pizza now?” Sam whines. “Or do we have to keep doing the reunion thing?”

  Paul smacks the back of his little brother’s head. “She saved his fucking life, dickwad.”

  Pete mimics Sam’s whine. “Can we eat the pizza now?”

  I laugh and pick up a piece, shoving it into my mouth.

  “Thank God,” Paul moans as he reaches for a piece for himself. He smacks at Sam’s hands as he gets in his way. “I was starving.”

  I’m so touched by their impromptu party that I can’t stop smiling. I have this stupid perma-grin on my face, but I’m just so happy to be here. Logan pulls out a chair at the table and motions for me to sit. But I suddenly feel little fingers tugging on the legs of my jeans. I look down at Hayley, who blinks her pretty blue eyes at me. Hayley is three, and we spent some time together when I was here before.

  “Welcome home,” she says. I set my pizza on the counter and reach for her. “Oh my goodness,” I breathe as I bend down and pick her up. She wraps herself around me and holds me close. She lets me go and whispers in my ear. “Are you staying for good?” She chews on her finger as she waits.

  “I’m staying forever and ever.” I am. I’m never leaving again, no matter what. Anything else we need, we can work out as a family. This ragtag bunch of boys and Hayley are as much a family to me as my parents are right now—they’re home.

  I set Hayley on the edge of the counter and cut a piece of cake for her. Her eyes gleam, and she smiles sheepishly at her father.

  “Food first,” Paul warns. I stick a fork in the cake and take a big bite, and then hold a smaller forkful out for her. Paul scrunches his brow and says, “Fine. One bite.” He holds up a finger in warning.

  Hayley grins, and I feed her the cake.

  “This is really good,” I murmur around my cake.

  Pete smacks Sam on the shoulder. “See, told yo
u she would love it,” he says.

  Sam blushes and says, “It’s just a cake.”

  I point to the cake. “You did not make this.”

  More pink creeps up Sam’s neck. “Sometimes I bake.” He puts his hands on his hips and balks at me. “Real men bake cakes. And pies. And cookies. And other shit.” He waves a hand through the air as he scolds me. I had no idea Sam could bake. It’s really some of the best cake I have ever eaten.

  “Real men with really small dicks,” Pete says, holding his fingers about an inch apart. Sam punches his shoulder.

  “Ask your girlfriend about my dick,” Sam tosses back. “She seemed to like it a lot last night.”

  “Knock it off,” Paul scolds as he takes Hayley off the counter and sets her on the floor. “There are girls in the house.”

  “They don’t count as girls,” Sam says around a mouthful of pizza.

  “Well, thanks,” I complain.

  “You know what I mean.” Sam is still talking with his mouth full.

  Logan wraps his arms around my waist and places his chin on my shoulder. “Feels like a girl to me,” he says. He growls and nibbles on the side of my neck.

  God, I love being here with them. I missed a lot while I was away, and I want to find out everything all at once.

  Can we sneak out of here and into the bedroom yet? Logan signs to me after he turns me to face him.

  That would be rude. I shake my head. We just got here. Did you know they were going to do this?

  He shrugs his shoulders and grins. I knew there was cake. The pizza is just dinner, I think. They didn’t know when you’d come by.

  You could have warned me.

  Where would be the fun in that? He jerks a thumb toward the bedroom. Can we go to bed yet? He waggles his eyebrows at me.

  Where would be the fun in that? I ask. My pocket vibrates, and I reach for my phone. It’s my mom, I tell Logan. “Hello,” I say quietly. I walk toward Logan’s bedroom so I can hear my mom talk.

  “Are you all right?” my mom asks.

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” I step into Logan’s room.

  “I just wanted to be sure. Trip called your father and said you weren’t at your apartment.”

  “Mom,” I start.

  “I know, I know,” she interjects. I can almost imagine her holding her hands out in surrender. “Are you at Logan’s?” Her voice is almost singsong.

  A grin tugs at my lips. “Yes, they had a party for me,” I admit. “It was really nice.”

  “And Logan?” she asks. “How is he?”

  What she really wants to know is how angry he is at my father. “He’s fine.”

  “Your father will get used to him,” she says.

  “He’ll have to.” That sounds flippant, but it’s not. It’s the truth.

  “Emily,” she warns. She takes a deep breath. “Even you have to admit he’s not what your father envisioned for you.”

  He’s not what I envisioned for myself, either. I never even hoped to find someone as kind and generous as Logan. “I know. Isn’t it great?”

  My mother heaves a sigh. “There’s a party tomorrow at the hotel. Your father is hosting it. We’ll pick you up at three.”

  “Wait,” I say. “Why do I have to go?”

  “It’s a family event,” she says. “You should bring Logan. It’s not black tie, but it’s rather formal,” she warns.

  “Mom,” I moan. I’m pretty sure Logan doesn’t own a tie, much less a black one. “I don’t want to go.” I probably sound like a two-year-old, but I don’t care.

  “It’s not optional. Your father is presenting his new ad campaign, and there will be some New York officials there.”

  “I wanted to spend tomorrow with Logan,” I say quietly.

  “I told you to bring him with you.”

  “He doesn’t have anything to wear,” I admit.

  “Oh,” my mother chirps. “Never fear. I’ll take care of it. I’ll have some things sent over for him. And for you, too. You can both take your pick of what to wear and send the rest back. Or keep it. I don’t particularly care.”

  I can see Logan in a formal setting. He can fit in anywhere. I’m sure of it. “All right,” I sigh. “Send it.”

  “I’ll send it to your apartment.” She stops talking and lets me absorb her words. “That is where you’re staying, right?” she asks. I can almost feel her grin through the phone.

  “Yes, Mom. My apartment.” I bite back a groan.

  “We’ll pick you both up at three,” she tells me. “Love you.”

  She’s gone before I can respond.

  Logan pokes his head into the room. Everything ok?

  I nod. My mom said my presence is requested at a party tomorrow. I raise an eyebrow at him. Any chance you could go with me?

  He pulls his head back, his chin pushing toward his chest as he looks down at me. What kind of party?

  The really fancy kind.

  His gaze shoots toward his closet, and I can already see him trying to plan.

  My mom said she would send clothes for both of us. I hold my breath waiting for his response. I need clothes too.

  Is it important to you?

  Is it? No. It’s important to my father. I have to go. And if you don’t go, I’ll be stuck with Trip all night.

  I can see the look in his eyes when it’s settled. I’m going.

  You don’t have to.

  I’m going.

  He motions for me to come back out and join his brothers. I push back my fears about tomorrow. I grab his elbow as he walks by me, pulling him around. He wraps his arms around me and I think I’m going to get a quick hug, but his hands slide down over my ass and he hoists me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he pushes me against the wall.

  “Wow,” I breathe. But he can’t hear me. His lips touch mine, kissing me hard, like he didn’t just spend last night in my bed. He licks into me, and I slide my tongue against the soft rasp of his. He steals my wits with every kiss. With every touch, he takes my breath.

  He lifts his head and brushes his nose against mine, back and forth in little sweeps.

  His arms are braced on the wall beside my head, and I turn to press my lips against the tattoo on his inner forearm. It’s the tattoo I drew, and it represents so much about our love for one another. I drew the guitar with the broken strings, shackles, and thorns when I was lost. And Logan added the keyhole to the center. He unlocked my world. And I’m not lost anymore.

  I tip his face to mine so he can see my lips. “Let’s skip the party,” I suggest.

  He heaves a sigh. “We can’t.” He presses his face into my neck and inhales deeply. Then he unhooks my legs from around his waist. “They rented a movie.”

  I can just imagine car chases and guns. They are boys after all. “My kind or your kind?” I ask.

  “There are no gender delineations here,” he teases, shaking his finger at me. He takes my hand and pulls me out of the room. Paul is in the lazy chair with Hayley in his lap, reading a book, and Sam and Pete are on one of the sofas. Matt is alone on the other, so I sit down beside him and lean into his shoulder. He reaches up to tousle my hair and smiles at me.

  “I’m glad you’re back, kid,” he says. I lean more heavily into him, and he lifts his arm to the back of the sofa so I can nestle into his side. I breathe him in. He’s so much softer than Logan. But the cancer took its toll. He’s lost weight, and he has dark shadows beneath his eyes.

  “You sure you’re okay?” I whisper to him. He looks down at me and tweaks my nose as Logan pulls my feet into his lap.

  I lay my head on Matt’s thigh and he leans down to whisper to me. “Quit worrying about me and enjoy being back.” His hand strokes absently down the length of my hair as someone presses “play” to start the movie. I love this gentle giant.

  The movie starts, and it’s not a thriller or a car chase. There’s no shooting. It’s a love story. My eyes well up with tears, and I scrub them on Matt’s leg.
r />   “There’s no place like home,” I say quietly.

  ***

  I wake up to the feel of being hoisted in the air. I reach for Logan’s neck, and he chuckles. “I got you,” he says to assure me.

  “Don’t drop her,” Matt warns.

  “I let you snuggle with her all through the movie,” Logan complains. But I can tell he’s not angry. “But she’s my girlfriend. And I’m not going to drop my girlfriend.” He nods toward Matt’s room. “You going to bed?” Logan asks.

  Matt stretches and groans. “In a minute.” He stretches his leg out in front of him and wiggles his feet. “My fucking leg’s asleep.”

  “That’s what you get for stealing my girl,” Logan scolds.

  Matt laughs. “It was fucking worth it.” He calls to me, “Love you, kid!”

  “Love you, too,” I say back. Matt’s voice is playful, but he means it. He does love me. I’ve become the honorary sister he never wanted. Or at least that’s how I see myself. I hope he sees me the same way.

  The lights flash, and Logan looks back over his shoulder. His brothers do that to get his attention when he’s not looking. “What?” Logan asks. He hoists me higher.

  Paul points toward the drawer full of condoms and arches his brow. It’s a house full of men, and they have a kitchen drawer full of condoms. It works for them, but heat creeps up my face when Paul points out that Logan needs to get one.

  “Be right back,” Logan says.

  He carries me into the bedroom and pulls back the covers. “I need to go talk to Paul,” he says. He bends down with the intention of kissing me.

  “To talk about condoms?” I ask.

  He grins. “Among other things.”

  “What other things?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know. But he has that look on his face like he needs to talk to me.” His lips brush mine quickly. “Be right back.”

  He walks out the door, and I can’t be angry that Paul is trying to keep Logan safe. It’s what he does.

  Logan

  I’m pissed that Paul made Emily feel uncomfortable, but I try not to let it show as I walk into the living room to find him. He’s sitting on one sofa and Matt’s on the other. “I don’t need a condom,” I blurt out.